Poems
I reproduce a poem by Paul Footit. I hope you find it amusing!
It was written following our reunion in 1992, organized by Christine Cluroe, for those leaving 1966 -68
IT'S A LONG TIME SINCE I SAW L.E.G.S. LIKE THOSE - by Paul Footitt
We've all passed 25 years,
In various different careers,
Now reminiscences can begin,
Upstairs at the Railway Inn.
Photographs cover one wall,
Helping the guests to recall,
Finding themselves and some more,
Way back in year sixty-four.
Now, in the year ninety two,
Labels help tell us who's who,
We hope that we are all somewhat wiser,
We see that some are somewhat wider.
Everyone twenty eight years older,
Some men are considerably balder,
Most others have got grey hair,
Original colours are very rare.
Not one of the women is grey,
That's rather suspicious I say!
But the change that most disconcerts,
Is the absence of green mini skirts!
As we continued our drinking,
We couldn't help thinking,
Amid our laughter and joking,
There were very few smoking.
We all posed for a picture,
At the end of the fixture,
We'll be back in five years,
I'll bet everyone there reappears.
It was an evening of pleasure,
To remember, at leisure,
Many thanks to Christine Cluroe,
Long Eaton Grammar's new hero (ine)
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My Old Man's an MA (to the Tune of My Old Man's a Dustman) C.1967
My old man's an MA,
He wears an MA's gown.
He also wears a leather belt - Why?
So his trousers won't fall down.
La la la…
Mr Carlton is his henchmen,
Of him we're all afraid.
The only time he's satisfied,
Is the day that he get's paid.
La la la…
Mr Davy joined the Lit and Deb,
He is so eloquent.
When he sees Doctor Burrow,
There'll be an argument.
La la la…
Mr Aldridge he is leaving,
We're sorry to see him go.
He says it's for the Liebfraumilch,
But we think it's for the dough.
La la la…
Mr Wright he is a funny chap,
He always moans and groans.
If it's not about his lumbago,
It's about the Rolling Stones
La la la…
Mr Adkin is a sporty type,
On Rugby he's so keen.
And when he says…
"The coefficient of x2 to the base e2 is proportional to the Cartesian co-ordinates of its exponential"
We all know what he means!
La la la…
Mr Webb he teaches Chemy,
He often makes a smell.
And when he makes us H2S
The whole school knows as well.
back to top
The School Dinner Song - C.1967
Written by Trevor Wright, Bill Musson, Paul Footitt, Andy Henstridge, Brian Stacey, Dave Perry and Phil Roberts.
(To hear the original recording - go to the Videos and Sounds Section)
Entitled: The 3rd. Song.
We all stay school dinners,
It really is a treat
What we leave or throw away,
The second sitting eat.
CHORUS:
Singing we all love the canteen,
Mrs Wesson too,
We tolerate Her current pud,
But not her sickly stew.
The 'taters are delicious,
It gives you such a thrill,
To stand up on the table,
And attack them with a drill.
Chorus
The other day we all fell ill,
We couldn't reason why,
At last we solved the problem'
It was Mrs Wesson's pie.
Chorus
The peas are like cannon balls,
The custards like cement,
The salads always over-cooked'
The spoons are always bent.
Chorus
The Forth Song
Whilst standing in assembly,
Take a look upon the staff'
Hide your face inside your hymn book,
And have yourself a laugh.
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Dedicated Followers of Fashion - Author Unknown C.1967
(To hear the original recording - go to the Videos and Sounds Section)
We see them here; we see them there.
They look so queer, but they don't care.
You just can't help but notice them, you have to stand and stare.
Yes they're the dedicated followers of fashion.
And here we have Dave Cobweb. He's wearing (what do you expect for 5 shillings??) the most exotic Airtex lab coat that I've ever seen, notice the sexy cutaway front to give plenty of movement, plenty of movement people, for the death defying leaps onto the front bench of the Chemistry lab.
Oh yes he is, oh yes he is.
He knows he is the enemy of the tennis-playing boys,
'cos he's a dedicated follower of fashion.
Ah here she comes, here we have (silence, pray silence please) Carol Hall who is always well out in front in the fashion world.
Oh yes she is, oh yes she is.
She thinks she is a flower to be looked at in the lab,
'cos she's a dedicated follower of fashion.
And here we have direct from a ministerial broadcast that funky playing, gun running, student stunning (I like Emperor Rosco, it's so umm, butch you know) vicar known in down town Long Eaton as Al Capone Rees. Notice he is wearing the latest style in morbid shirts.
Oh yes he is, oh yes he is.
He knows he is the darling of all the 6th form girls,
'cos he's a consecrated follower of fashion.
back to top
When you are Standing in Assembly (to the tune of ???) C.1967
When you're standing in assembly,
Take a look upon the staff.
Hide your face inside your hymn book,
Have yourself a good old laugh.
When your tired and don't like singing,
There is something you can do.
Face of the anger of the Prefects,
Come in late like they all do
Mr Gray he takes assembly,
Even when we have the Band.
Why the music is so awful,
We just cannot understand.
Mr Setterfield is lonely,
Cos the band is getting thin.
But it hardly is surprising
Have you heard the awful din - Blasphemy!!
One thing before you go now,
If tomorrow you're on time.
Just stand outside Assembly
And sing this silly rhyme
Amen
back to top
Naturally - C.1969 sent in by Sally Parker
Girls
We are the girls of Long Eaton, are we,
We’re not very good at maths and history,
We’re shocking at English, at French and geography,
But we’re very good with boys, ‘cos it comes so naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
Boys
We are the boys of Long Eaton, are we,
We’re not very good at maths and history,
We’re shocking at English, at French and geography,
But we’re very good with girls, ‘cos it comes so naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
All
The teachers who teach us are really very good,
They shout at us and curse us and say we’re made of wood,
But when they catch us smoking or leaving school at three,
They pretend not to see us, ‘cos they do it naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
Girls
In housecraft and sewing we’re as hopeless as can be,
We hate phys and chemi, but we love biology,
Latin and German are not our cup of tea,
But we’re very good with boys, ‘cos it comes so naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
Boys
With soccer and tennis and cricket and rugby,
Mr Atlas Bassett makes our life a misery,
We only take PE Mrs Bassett for to see,
O we’re good with girls, ‘cos it comes so naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
All
On school trips and outings we all behave so well,
Especially on the back seats where the teachers cannot tell
That we’re following their example, O what a sight to see,
‘Cos they’re just as bad as we are, ‘cos it comes so naturally!
back to top
It was written following our reunion in 1992, organized by Christine Cluroe, for those leaving 1966 -68
IT'S A LONG TIME SINCE I SAW L.E.G.S. LIKE THOSE - by Paul Footitt
We've all passed 25 years,
In various different careers,
Now reminiscences can begin,
Upstairs at the Railway Inn.
Photographs cover one wall,
Helping the guests to recall,
Finding themselves and some more,
Way back in year sixty-four.
Now, in the year ninety two,
Labels help tell us who's who,
We hope that we are all somewhat wiser,
We see that some are somewhat wider.
Everyone twenty eight years older,
Some men are considerably balder,
Most others have got grey hair,
Original colours are very rare.
Not one of the women is grey,
That's rather suspicious I say!
But the change that most disconcerts,
Is the absence of green mini skirts!
As we continued our drinking,
We couldn't help thinking,
Amid our laughter and joking,
There were very few smoking.
We all posed for a picture,
At the end of the fixture,
We'll be back in five years,
I'll bet everyone there reappears.
It was an evening of pleasure,
To remember, at leisure,
Many thanks to Christine Cluroe,
Long Eaton Grammar's new hero (ine)
back to top
My Old Man's an MA (to the Tune of My Old Man's a Dustman) C.1967
My old man's an MA,
He wears an MA's gown.
He also wears a leather belt - Why?
So his trousers won't fall down.
La la la…
Mr Carlton is his henchmen,
Of him we're all afraid.
The only time he's satisfied,
Is the day that he get's paid.
La la la…
Mr Davy joined the Lit and Deb,
He is so eloquent.
When he sees Doctor Burrow,
There'll be an argument.
La la la…
Mr Aldridge he is leaving,
We're sorry to see him go.
He says it's for the Liebfraumilch,
But we think it's for the dough.
La la la…
Mr Wright he is a funny chap,
He always moans and groans.
If it's not about his lumbago,
It's about the Rolling Stones
La la la…
Mr Adkin is a sporty type,
On Rugby he's so keen.
And when he says…
"The coefficient of x2 to the base e2 is proportional to the Cartesian co-ordinates of its exponential"
We all know what he means!
La la la…
Mr Webb he teaches Chemy,
He often makes a smell.
And when he makes us H2S
The whole school knows as well.
back to top
The School Dinner Song - C.1967
Written by Trevor Wright, Bill Musson, Paul Footitt, Andy Henstridge, Brian Stacey, Dave Perry and Phil Roberts.
(To hear the original recording - go to the Videos and Sounds Section)
Entitled: The 3rd. Song.
We all stay school dinners,
It really is a treat
What we leave or throw away,
The second sitting eat.
CHORUS:
Singing we all love the canteen,
Mrs Wesson too,
We tolerate Her current pud,
But not her sickly stew.
The 'taters are delicious,
It gives you such a thrill,
To stand up on the table,
And attack them with a drill.
Chorus
The other day we all fell ill,
We couldn't reason why,
At last we solved the problem'
It was Mrs Wesson's pie.
Chorus
The peas are like cannon balls,
The custards like cement,
The salads always over-cooked'
The spoons are always bent.
Chorus
The Forth Song
Whilst standing in assembly,
Take a look upon the staff'
Hide your face inside your hymn book,
And have yourself a laugh.
back to top
Dedicated Followers of Fashion - Author Unknown C.1967
(To hear the original recording - go to the Videos and Sounds Section)
We see them here; we see them there.
They look so queer, but they don't care.
You just can't help but notice them, you have to stand and stare.
Yes they're the dedicated followers of fashion.
And here we have Dave Cobweb. He's wearing (what do you expect for 5 shillings??) the most exotic Airtex lab coat that I've ever seen, notice the sexy cutaway front to give plenty of movement, plenty of movement people, for the death defying leaps onto the front bench of the Chemistry lab.
Oh yes he is, oh yes he is.
He knows he is the enemy of the tennis-playing boys,
'cos he's a dedicated follower of fashion.
Ah here she comes, here we have (silence, pray silence please) Carol Hall who is always well out in front in the fashion world.
Oh yes she is, oh yes she is.
She thinks she is a flower to be looked at in the lab,
'cos she's a dedicated follower of fashion.
And here we have direct from a ministerial broadcast that funky playing, gun running, student stunning (I like Emperor Rosco, it's so umm, butch you know) vicar known in down town Long Eaton as Al Capone Rees. Notice he is wearing the latest style in morbid shirts.
Oh yes he is, oh yes he is.
He knows he is the darling of all the 6th form girls,
'cos he's a consecrated follower of fashion.
back to top
When you are Standing in Assembly (to the tune of ???) C.1967
When you're standing in assembly,
Take a look upon the staff.
Hide your face inside your hymn book,
Have yourself a good old laugh.
When your tired and don't like singing,
There is something you can do.
Face of the anger of the Prefects,
Come in late like they all do
Mr Gray he takes assembly,
Even when we have the Band.
Why the music is so awful,
We just cannot understand.
Mr Setterfield is lonely,
Cos the band is getting thin.
But it hardly is surprising
Have you heard the awful din - Blasphemy!!
One thing before you go now,
If tomorrow you're on time.
Just stand outside Assembly
And sing this silly rhyme
Amen
back to top
Naturally - C.1969 sent in by Sally Parker
Girls
We are the girls of Long Eaton, are we,
We’re not very good at maths and history,
We’re shocking at English, at French and geography,
But we’re very good with boys, ‘cos it comes so naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
Boys
We are the boys of Long Eaton, are we,
We’re not very good at maths and history,
We’re shocking at English, at French and geography,
But we’re very good with girls, ‘cos it comes so naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
All
The teachers who teach us are really very good,
They shout at us and curse us and say we’re made of wood,
But when they catch us smoking or leaving school at three,
They pretend not to see us, ‘cos they do it naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
Girls
In housecraft and sewing we’re as hopeless as can be,
We hate phys and chemi, but we love biology,
Latin and German are not our cup of tea,
But we’re very good with boys, ‘cos it comes so naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
Boys
With soccer and tennis and cricket and rugby,
Mr Atlas Bassett makes our life a misery,
We only take PE Mrs Bassett for to see,
O we’re good with girls, ‘cos it comes so naturally.
Chorus
So, up school! Up school! Ra! Ra! Ra!
All
On school trips and outings we all behave so well,
Especially on the back seats where the teachers cannot tell
That we’re following their example, O what a sight to see,
‘Cos they’re just as bad as we are, ‘cos it comes so naturally!
back to top
Poems